4:30 A.M

I actually love 4:30 A.M. Lily has been sleeping from around 9:00 P.M. until then. I usually wake up before she does and I lay there waiting for her little cry. I actually miss her by then and I am excited to see her again. The early morning feeding is my favorite because it is quiet. It is just me and her, and she is so calm and content. This morning while I was changing her (she spit up all over herself and me.) she just smiled at me and herself in the mirror the whole time. It is such a beautiful smile. And when I lay her back down in her crib, she just gives me a pleasant, content look, it is almost enough to make me pick her back up and never put her down.

It has been more than two months since she was born and I still get butterflies when I look at her. I will get a little teary sometimes when I think that she is our little girl, she is here, and growing and healthy. And now she is starting to smile when she sees me. There was a time, not too long ago, when I really thought that we would never have our Lily. I just feel so blessed.

I feel blessed to have had all of my children. Six years after having Jackson, he still melts my heart with one look from those big brown eyes. And Asher turns me into a puddle of goo when he says "hold you me." and then rests his head on my shoulder like the same snugly little boy he was as a baby.

Motherhood is truly the greatest blessing of my life. For the miracle of my kids I am eternally grateful.